Did you sing it? …Air guitar!
Tonight, I wanted to jot down some feelings about my final exam coming up, as part of my BSc (Hons) Biomedical Science degree at the wonderful University of the West of Scotland in Paisley. Has anyone ever felt the impending crisis of confidence that comes with this finality? tripping up at the last post? falling at the last hurdle ? and all other steeplechase adages. Can I say? This is partly me. The other part of me wants to be the person who tries their hardest right til the end, like “when the going gets tough..” You may be thinking enough of the proverbs, if so, I don’t blame you.
It’s the pressure I’m under you see. Right at the end of this degree I have the whole plethora of reasons which I’ve built up over the years ,to keep on going. The memories of the stresses and strains it has put on me and my family. The lack of sleep due to many reasons and the blind faith that I would keep pushing myself to get there. I’m almost at “There” now, or am I?
As a part-time student, I have met so many wonderful people who have inspired me. I’ve met a lot of friends who share my passion for being a science girl/nerd/geek/weirdo/guru. On the whole, I can use the word “privileged” for how I feel about this change. Anyone, who undergoes a career change may feel trepidation at the prospect, but I can confirm the change has been good for me – so go for it! If it’s something you need to do in life, I hope you get the chance to.
Biomedical Science and this career change is always a moving target. One which never really came into focus before now. You see it’s not until the end of honours year that you start to really take things seriously, how could you before? you didn’t know you would get this far, right? I mainly speak for myself here.
You begin to meet people, who you may actually be involved with throughout your career. For example, recently, we’ve had the pleasure of hearing how it is in industry with a series of talks from scientists working in labs in Scotland. They have discussed the focus of their specialisms in laboratory diagnostics or research – highlighting the impact they have on lives at the other end, perhaps vulnerable and waiting on results. Their responsibilities at hand of keeping systems in flow, and performing accurately to meet demands of ongoing developments and tests in Biomedical science. A recent lecture from a clinical immunologist on the range of allergy testing that can be carried out nowadays inspired me. One talk discussed the ways of testing for allergies including skin prick tests, measuring wheals as they responded to localised allergens under the skin, and also the movement towards molecular genetics such as the awareness of the ‘Ara’ gene’s in peanuts and their related allergens that can be detected with antibody testing. It almost ranked #1 in lectures, however this spot is reserved for Dr Anne Crilly’s lecture on autoimmunity. Dr Crilly was my research project supervisor, so I do have vested interest in being a fan! I feel inspired by great minds who tackle very complex scientific challenges to improve people’s lives, and I hope student’s voice their appreciation of this which I know a few of my peers do.
Clinical immunology is where I aim to be involved, but as I learn about the scientific community and the specialisms out there, I realise, if I achieve my BSc (Hons) that I’ll be a beginner again and rightly so. For this reason, saying that I’m almost “There” now seems a very sinuous comment to make in this industry.
In the days gone by, whence I was young and naive (not really, I was 32 when I started this degree) I thought I would qualify and go straight into diabetes research. As a mother of a child with type 1 diabetes, I was sure this was all the gumption I needed. <insert evil laugh here>.
I know differently now. Those little acronyms, of which I have learned so many, are now staring me brightly between the eyes most days. PhD being the one of most illumination. However, as mentioned (quite a few times now) on this blog, I do have a family. I do have growing teenage troops and they do need parenting as much as little babies do. Side note: If you have teens, you will know what I mean.
Inevitably, I will try to make a confident decision and move forward with my career, but I wouldn’t have been in this position if it wasn’t for my quest to find out why my son was diagnosed with autoimmune conditions. Each time things got difficult I told myself “if someone else can do it, I can too”. This quote is dedicated to my children.
To Katie & John:
If you read this (meaning you may have to actually use your mobile phones, and now my argument for this seems ineffective) – Thank you for putting up with me, and having faith in me so far. In this day, when you live with your mobile phones joined to your hands and google anything you want to know, I want to highlight that being part of studying for a degree is great but you’re in it for the long haul and you have to be patient with yourself. Good things come to those who wait.